Friendship is...

At the end of last weekend I had a strange discussion. Strange in this way that my discussion partner didn't agree with my 'definition' but couldn't give me a definition of his own.
The discussion started when I was going on (and on, and on) about the fun that was happening in Chicago at the moment. He (as digibeet = Dutch for absolutely-non-computer-knowable-person) couldn't get his head around this.

"How could I call these persons I'd never ever seen in my whole life friends? And, at the same hand, how can I call people I know 'only' from networking my friends?"

How on earth can you find and feed friendship on this strange phenomenon called blogging? How and when does a business person you only see during network breakfasts turn into a friend?

According to him all these examples are 'acquaintances', not friends. But alas, I'm still waiting to hear his definition of 'a friend'.

This discussion did make me ponder though: do I call people 'friends' too loosely? Too soon, too early, too 'superficial'?
No, I don't call someone a friend without reason, not just as soon as I know them. People I just 'know' are acquaintances, to be 'my friend' needs more (from them and me).

To me a friend is a friend when I can relate to him/her, when I feel there is a connection (even if the connection is made 'on-line' through 'cyberspace') on a deeper level than just knowing what their name is, where they live and what they do. And sometimes that connection is instant.

Sometimes all it takes is one word, one sentence, one gesture. You just Know (capital letter is meant to be there: this kind of knowing is knowing with a capital K). It's that special feeling only a good friend can create. Every time an email drops in your inbox with your friends name on it; every time you see the silhouette of your friend from the corner of your eye just before you meet face to face with a welcoming and 'knowing' smile.

I call Marcus a friend, Kent is, Liz is, Adam is, Stuart also and so are Dawud and Chris. I call Robert and Tully my (Turtle) friends. I only know them by and from 'blogging' (ok, web-publishing then).
I call Richard C, Lesley and Mike Perk friends. Catherine is, Peter Allen is. I know them from network organisations.
My mother (70+, bless her) is turning more and more into friend (and who ever said 'out-of-site-is-out-of-heart' is definitely mistaken).

Sometime I don't even remember where I met a friend the first time. Was it a particular post - or a comment on a post that brought me to a new blog where I found a new friend? Was it a particular breakfast meeting, or 1-2-1 meeting that 'turned' it?
Sometimes I remember vividly when we first met. Sometimes I'm also amazed or bewondered that these people call me their friend.

But with all of them I call my friends I relate, there is a relationship. A growing relationship. A friendship needs feeding to grow, feeding in a two-way 'traffic' stream. A friendship also needs understanding, understanding that claims on time, attention don't feed; they constrict the growth. And I want friendship to grow.

That's my definition of friendship. Perhaps not eloquently written down, but hey, there you go.

So, what's your definition of friendship? I would very much like to know. This is not another meme, just ponderings everyone sometimes have (I guess?). If you feel inclined to put thoughts to paper on this and want to share your post with everyone add this little (cute) button

Friendship is

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Take care for now, all of you.

Comments

[William Tully]

Long live the Turtles! ;)

[Robert Hruzek]

Karin, I'm honored to be your friend, my friend! Isn't it amazing how friendships can be built without ever physically meeting?

And I'm with Tully: Long Live The Turtles! :-D

[Karin]

Hi there my turtle friends William and Robert (but how's that possible, two turtles commenting as first? ;-))

Bob, it's 'border-less' how friendship can be built and sustained. All we need is a keyboard, understanding and a lot of love ;-)

Karin H.

[Liz Strauss]

Your defition of friendship is so like my own. Maybe that has something to do with it. :)

[Karin]

Hi Liz

It might, it might indeed. As in like alike ;-)

So it might also mean that friends write authentic (now where did I hear that before? - on a Liz blog? ;-))

Karin H.

[ann michael]

Hello Karin!

The magic of SOBCon continues. Someone clicked through to my blog from yours so I came over to take a look! (I'll look at your others in a minute too).

I like your definition of friendship. It was great meeting so many of my friends for the first time in person at SOBCon - Phil's a great hugger - I'm sure he'll reserve several for you if/when you meet.

SOBCon was such a unique event because it proved that different people from such varied backgrounds can have common ground. When they meet on that common ground everyone benefits from the diverse perspectives. I hope you make it to SOBCon08 - you sound like my kind of person!!!!

Ann

[Kent Blumberg]

You are my friend, and I am so glad the feeling is mutual. Can't wait for the next email or post!

Kent

[Mark Goodyear]

Karin, it was pretty cool seeing Kent across the room and saying, "Hey. You're Kent? Karin's Kent?" He knew exactly what I meant. I found him through you. And you through Liz. And Liz through... well, she just lives in her computer.

Thanks for calling me friend. Now if Akismet will just be our friend too...

[Karin]

Hi Ann

Phil has already promised me some 'catch-up hugging' ;-) (Like your blog too, seems we're on the same page, specially with regards of my Kiss2 blog)

Hi Kent

You had any doubts it wasn't mutual? Nah, don't think so. It's like Ann says "different people from such varied backgrounds can have common ground". Even it is (at the moment, sure I'll be there at SOBCon08) only finding out through keyboards.

Hi Marcus
You're kidding! You really said that? I love that (and am honoured in the same time - getting notorious ;-))
Connecting, that's the power of blogging I'm finding out.

Take care all

Karin H.

[Stuart Baker]

Karin,

Wonderful post.

Yes, you and I and others have become friends or are becoming friends totally by blog and email connections. For me these connections are very real, and I value them a great deal.

And I did connect with Kent through you and Dawud, thanks. There it is again. Hi Kent.

Thanks, Karin.

Stuart Baker
www.consciouscooperation.com

[Karin H.]

Hi Stuart

Connecting through keyboards, but it is still the 'typer' that makes the real connection.

Thank you.

Karin H.